So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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