Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
You've changed since you got that strap on
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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