I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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