dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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