You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
We had to coat check the pizza.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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