Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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