is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
