You're so nebulous sometimes
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
