it was like his penis was on wheels.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
This is my gift to your gina
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
