i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize