I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize