He disabled his match.com account in front of me
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
