I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
