if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Sober January is a disaster.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
We're too hungover to prance.
All I want is dick and wine.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize