Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
