I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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