You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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