I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize