Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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