Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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