drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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