I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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