I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize