evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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