I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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