So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
