There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
