he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
So many bounce houses so little time
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
