Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
