hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I touched a dick in church today
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize