My brain says no but my pants say off.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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