I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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