My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
"it" just moved
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
