is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
