let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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