I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
