I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
