he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
