Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
