literally had 100 drinks last night.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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