i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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