can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize