hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
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