Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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