I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
