Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
