If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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