i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I want to fling myself into the sun
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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