ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
