she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
