dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
