his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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