Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
