DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
