U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
