Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
