Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
