Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Randomize
