if you like me you must not know who I am
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
