idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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