On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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