When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
