I cut my penus on the lid.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
