I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
