I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
