Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
