it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize