Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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