I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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