Can i not drive my cunt home
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize